SLP032 - Relationships : How To Deal with Testing and Change

In this episode, we continue talking about RELATIONSHIPS.

• How do we navigate changes in relationships?
• Are all relationships meant to last for a lifetime?
• What do you do when a relationship is TESTED?
• What do you do when a relationship’s season has come to an end
• How do we steward the transitions in relationships from one level to another.

Today on the program, we will be looking at these kinds of questions, and talking about ‘How To Deal With Testing and Changes in Relationships’. 

Spiritual Principle

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—

² A time to give birth and a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
³ A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
⁴ A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
⁵ A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
⁶ A time to search and a time to give up as lost;
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
⁷ A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;
A time to be silent and a time to speak.
⁸ A time to love and a time to hate;
A time for war and a time for peace.

Today, I want us to look at the inevitable TESTING and CHANGE that must come to every relationship, and how you can steward it in a way that produces a Godly result

The natural/organic path of a relationship is GROWTH. In fact …

Living things GROW; growing things CHANGE~

There are THREE things that can bring change (positive or negative) in a relationship:

1. Testing
2. Seasons
3. Personal Choice

TESTING

• A traumatic event
• An offense
• Hurt feelings
• Hard words
• Betrayal

Over -reaction to any of these can produce an unwanted outcome. A mature individual who truly values relationship will be careful to steward the testing with a hope to graduate the relationship to another level. If you pass the test, you graduate to the next level. Now you get to enjoy the status, benefits, and joy of what the next level can produce in your life

SEASONS

Not every relationship is for every season. Sometimes God will send a person into your life, and for a month, or several years, that person will have a significant role in your life, BUT, in another season, that relationship is no longer as meaningful.

• High School, College, Personal Development, Mentoring, etc.
• As you move from one season to another in your life, the relationships in your life have to adjust to your new season, grow with you, or be left behind
• As you move from one level in your life to another, NOT EVERYONE IN YOUR LIFE CAN OR WILL GO WITH YOU

PERSONAL CHOICE

Much like above, when you DECIDE to make significant changes in your life, or in the direction you are going in your life, this creates a demand on your present relationships that must be answered. A 3 degree course change … over time creates a distance between you and those you used to track with. People feel as though you have abandoned them, disconnected, moved on, when in fact, you simply answered God’s call to change directions.

7 Things you can do WHEN A RELATIONSHIP IS TESTED

1. Don’t react … Be Still
2. Pray
3. Look in the mirror and take accountability
4. When your heart is right … go to the person and talk with them
5. Seek to understand
6. Offer and receive forgiveness
7. Reset

7 Things to check WHEN A RELATIONSHIP seems to be changing

1. Understand your season
2. Is the relationship ending or changing?
3. What is God requiring of you?
4. Has your change in direction constituted a separation or an adjustment?
5. Is this relationship moving from one level to another?
6. Has the relationship become toxic or limiting to your moving with God in this season?
7. Does this relationship ADD to you, or TAKE from you?

QUESTIONS:

1. Are there relationships in your life today that you know need attention?
2. Have you experienced this TESTING and feel as though you left it undone?
3. Is there someone you need to make things right with?
4. Is there a relationship that you know God is requiring you to let go of?
5. Are you willing to trust Him with your relationships?

WHEN YOU MAKE SPACE, GOD SENDS NEW THINGS

NEXT WEEK:

Next week, I am going to continue talking about relationships. Specifically, I will be dealing with ‘The 7 Quality Characteristics of a Healthy, Life Giving Relationship’